Ystävänpäivästoori englanniksi / I Only Have Eyes for You – Valentine’s Day Story in English

Lyhyesti Suomeksi: En ole kovinkaan romanttinen sielu, joten tässä omaan tyyliini sopiva ystävänpäivätarina, tällä kertaa ainoastaan englanniksi, sillä ”I only have eyes for you” -fraasi toimii vähän huonosti Suomeksi. Tarina oli alun perin kyseisen lausahduksen ympärille rakennettu harjoitus.

Preface: I am not a very romantic person. So here is a Valentine’s Day story more suitable for me. Originally it was a prompt from a phrase “I only have eyes for you”.

Why the hell I had gone out with him? Sure he was good-looking and charming but also arrogant and old-fashioned in so many ways. And on top of that he was a wizard – maybe the most powerful one in Europe. We had dinner in a fancy restaurant and walk in the park. Nothing extreme, just ordinary and pleasant. He took my hand and gazed into my eyes. “You know I only have eyes for you”, he said. I guess I wouldn’t have smiled so wide if I had known what he was talking about. One year later, after the peculiar wedding ceremony and some bizarre wows, I was still indignant of his collection. Jars after jars full of salty liquid and eyeballs of all the magical creatures he had captured on his journeys. “The eyes are the mirror of their souls”, he said, and put me in charge of dusting the jars. And every time I looked at those glooming eyeballs I had to do a little soul mirroring myself and ask the question: Why the hell I had gone out with him?

Matkalla tuntemattomaan / To boldly go…

In English Below

Neljäs Kirjan talon spekulatiivisen fiktion hautomo vei minut mukavuusalueelle. Tieteiskirjallisuuteen meidät perehdytti kirjailija Shimo Suntila, jonka opeista tarttui mukaan paljon pureskeltavaa.

Alusta asti oli selvää, että Suntila tiesi, mistä puhui, ja muistiinpanoja kertyi paljon. Yksinkertaisimmillaan scifin voidaan todeta perustuvan tieteeseen. Avaruuteen sijoittuvat tarinat on helppo tunnistaa scifiksi, mutta Suntila muistutti, että kyse voi olla myös muista tieteistä, kuten antropologiasta, sosiaalitieteistä, lääketieteestä tai luonnontieteistä. Scifitarinoiden tapahtumat ovat yleensä selitettävissä tieteen keinoin, eikä tiedettä vastaan varsinaisesti rikota, vaikka sen lainalaisuuksia voidaankin taivutella.

Suntila painotti kuitenkin hyvän tarinan tärkeyttä. Joskus tieteellinen periaate voidaan nakata roskakoriin, jotta tarinasta saadaan kiinnostavampi ja toimivampi. Tieteisulottuvuuden tulee kuitenkin olla tarinan ydin ja vaikuttaa henkilöhahmojen toimintaan. Juonen tulee käsitellä inhimillisiä ongelmia, mutta linkittyä elementtiin, joka tekee tarinasta tieteistarinan. Samanlaisen ohjeen saimme J.S. Meresmaalta eeppisen fantasian kurssikerralla. Siinä missä fantasia tuo tunnistettavaan maailmaan taikaa, scifi tuo siihen tiedettä.

Kovaa vai pehmeää?

Suntilan mukaan tieteiskirjallisuudessa liikutaan usein mahdottoman ja mahdollisen rajapinnoilla. Scifi voi omaksua erikoisia ideoita, mutta pysyä silti etäisesti mahdollisena. Kovaan ja pehmeään tieteiskirjallisuus voidaan jakaa sen perusteella, miten mahdollisena sen luomaa asetelmaa voidaan pitää.

Kovassa scifissä tekniikka toimii mahdollisimman realistisesti. Pehmeässä scifissä voidaan oikoa ja tehdä myös mahdottomia ratkaisuja. Esimerkiksi H.G. Wellsin tuotantoa voidaan pitää pehmeänä scifinä ja Jules Vernen kirjoja kovana scifinä.

Toinen tieteiskirjallisuudelle tyypillinen kahtiajako ovat dystopiat ja utopiat. Itse olen ehdottomasti dystopian ystävä. Ei pelkästään synkkien maailmoiden vuoksi, vaan myös siksi, että dystopioissa asuu toivo. Kun asiat ovat jo lähtökohtaisesti pielessä, pitää toivo kaiken kasassa ja vie tarinaa eteenpäin. Toivo on myös elementti, joka voi tehdä altavastaajasta sankarin.

Vaihtoehtohistorioita

Kävimme läpi myös erilaisia scifin alalajeja avaruusoopperasta aikamatkailuun. Omat suosikkini löytyvät vaihtoehtohistorioista, joista tunnetuin lienee tällä hetkellä steampunk höyrykoneineen ja ilmalaivoineen. Itseäni kiehtoo eniten cyborgien, neonvalojen ja synkkien tulevaisuusskenaarioiden cyberpunk. Suntilan mukaan seuraava merkittävä alalaji saattaa olla aurinkoenergian valjastava solarpunk, joka voi tarkastella myös ilmastonmuutokseen liittyviä uhkakuvia.  

Vaihtoehtohistorioissa jokin asia maailmankirjoissa on mennyt toisin. NaNoWriMo-tekstissäni tarkastelin melko perinteistä Steampunk-maailmaa, jossa ilmalaivat täyttävät taivaan ja päähenkilö työskentelee höyrykonetehtaalla. Merenkulku on jäänyt espanjalaisille ja kreikkalaisille kauppalaivastoille sekä Pohjoismaissa eläville merenkävijöille. Olen tuonut tarinaan mukaan myös alkemisteja ja salatieteitä. Tekstissä ollaan lähellä 1900-luvun alkua ja siten myös ensimmäisen maailmansodan syntyyn vaikuttavia tekijöitä. Samaan aikaan, kun Nikola Tesla tekee kaikessa hiljaisuudessa kokeilujaan sähköllä, pelkää alkemistien salainen veljeskunta uuden energiamuodon syrjäyttävän heidän valtansa.

Vaihtoehtohistorioiden ja toisenlaisten maailmojen kehitteleminen kiehtoo minua scifissä eniten. Suntilan mukaan vieraiden asioiden kokeminen on scifissä tärkeää, ihmisten reaktiot vierasta tai uutta kohtaan tuovat inhimillisyyttä tarinaan. Siellä missä on konflikti, on myös tarina.

Lue lisää ajatuksistani spekulatiivisen fiktion hautomosta.

Lukuvinkki: Shimo Suntila: Sata kummaa kertomusta. 2013, Kuoriaiskirjat. ISBN 978-952-7021-16-3

In English

The fourth meeting of my fantasy and sci-fi writing class took me to my comfort zone. Author Shimo Suntila introduced us to the world of science fiction.

Suntila knew what he was talking about. Science fiction should always have some science in it. We easily recognize stories happening in space as sci-fi, but Suntila reminded us that besides technology there might be other sciences involved too, like social sciences, anthropology or medical science.

Suntila emphasized the importance of a good story. Sometimes the scientific principles can be tossed to trash if it makes the story more interesting and functional. The plot should deal with problems readers can recognize, but still, have the sci-fi element to affect the behavior of the characters. The idea is very similar than the one J.S. Meresmaa introduced to us when she was talking about epic fantasy.

Hard or soft, dystopias or utopias?

According to Suntila, science fiction often balances on the border of impossible and possible. Sci-fi can embrace some wild ideas but still keep its set at least a little bit plausible. Sci-fi can be divided into hard and soft according to how possible the story’s set up is.

In a hard sci-fi, the technology works as realistically as possible. The soft sci-fi can make some short cuts and use more impossible solutions. For example, H.G. Wells’ books can be seen as a soft sci-fi and Jules Verne’s books as hard sci-fi.

Dystopias and utopias are also very typical of science fiction. I am definitely a fan of dystopias. Not only because of the dark worlds, but also because of the hope that dystopia holds in. When everything goes wrong, hope makes changes possible and keeps the story breathing. Hope is also an element that can turn an underdog into a hero.

Alternative histories

We also went through a variety of science fiction subgenres from space opera to time travel. My favorite ones can be found in alternative histories. The most known one at the moment is probably steampunk with airships and clockwork machines. I, myself, am more fascinated by the cyberpunk and the cyborgs, neon lights and gloomy future scenarios. According to Suntila, the next major alternative history variation might be the solarpunk, which harnesses solar energy and can also take a view on climate change.

In alternative histories, something in the world has gone differently. In my NaNoWriMo text, I wrote about the rather traditional Steampunk world, where airships filled the skies and the protagonist worked at the steam engine factory. The seas were left to Spanish and Greek merchants and seafarers living in the Nordic countries. I have also brought alchemists and some occultism in the script. The story takes place close to the beginning of the 20th century, and First World War. At the same time as Nikola Tesla is experimenting with electricity, the secret brotherhood of the alchemists fears that the new form of energy will displace their power.

Developing alternative histories and different worlds fascinate me most in sci-fi. According to Suntila, experiencing strange things is important in science fiction. People’s reactions to strange or new things bring humanity to the plot. Where there is conflict, there is also a story.

Read more about the scifi and fantasy writing class.

My head is a Jukebox – short story in English

Voit lukea novellin suomeksi täältä.

(I wrote this short story a long time ago in Finnish but felt like trying to translate in English too. I always use music when I write, so I guess this story was originally born from there.)

No, this does not mean I’m gone crazy.

Stop prattling. Tell about us!

Quiet please, we agreed that I will tell the story. Sorry about that. This is sometimes a bit hard. You will understand after I have explained some backgrounds of this story. I am just an ordinary guy, bachelor of arts. I have a stupid underpaid job that kills all my creativity and just enough friends to prove that I’m not a hermit. I wear jeans and sweaters, I go to a cheap barber shop to cut my hair and I do change socks and boxers every day. I got a mustache.

This explains a lot, especially the mustache.

Do not care about them, they tend to be a handful sometimes. You know how rock stars are. But let’s get back to the story. Once upon a time I met a girl and fell in love. She was a dancer, and she wanted everything to be like a movie. You know the type. When we went on a date everything was supposed to happen in certain ways, like following the script. When we had sex she wanted the lighting to be perfect. As we walked down the street, she wanted to create the right atmosphere. There had to be drama, comedy, and romance.

I do not like movies. We broke up. She thought I was boring, too ordinary.

You actually were boring at that time.

I was depressed, even though it didn’t make any sense. I really don’t like movies.

But you like music.

But I like the music. My taste in music is very eclectic, but I still dare to claim that no good music has been made since the 80s. The early 90s disco pop I can still understand but everything made after that is just a pathetic shit or reminds me of flavorless strawberry chewing gum.

I used to buy records, but then I became an art student and I had to take tons of student loan. So I sold all my records. I got a good prize from some of the vinyl but CDs I had to sell cheap. Nowadays it doesn’t piss me out that bad anymore.

Sometimes I thought about the girl (who lived in the movies which I didn’t like) and wondered if she was happy. Did she walk in the riverbank slowly and pensive like there was a camera following her? Did she sit on the corner table of a café and pan sharply through the people who had become the supernumeraries in her scene. I really wanted to know how to be that happy.

Then you found us!

Do not go ahead. So, I was in a situation where I no longer had my records, but I still was in debt. I wasn’t happy and I still thought about the girl, the one who loved the movies. I was anxious and took a walk on the riverside, trying to imagine cameras and lamps and a director who asked me to be more relaxed, less worried, little bit ruminative. It made me even more anxious. And then I heard the song. After a beautiful intro, Ann Wilson’s gorgeous voice began to tell the story about loneliness.

I looked around, but I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. People walked by with lifted jacket collars and tensed expressions on their faces. No one else seemed to hear the song, but in my ears, it just got louder and louder. When the chorus filled my head I felt a tremendous liberating passion inside me. My footsteps found their way to the rhythm of the song, the lyrics made me feel the moment in a brand new way. It was me and the music. My music. I still didn’t like movies but now everything became an endless playlist.

In the morning when I wake up, the music gives me a hint of what the day will be like. AC/DC’s T.N.T. is all about fighter spirit. Ozzy’s Mr. Crowley often says that day is getting worse, and if I hear Kaseva I know it’s not worth getting up from the bed at all. The music I do my work with includes Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen and sometimes even something classical. In a grocery store, I tend to shop with some light Finnish schlagers. The boring convenience food tastes much better when it is enjoyed with songs from Rauli Badding. If I ever find a woman (who loves music more than movies) I want to make love to her inspired by Madonna’s Like a Virgin and later with the passion of Bryan Adams’ Heaven.

My whole life is built with a steady flood of music. Just like if there would be a radio or jukebox inside of me, but without the annoying commercials or hosts. News I can watch from TV if I need to know what is going on with the world. But mainly I live from the music and the music lives in me.

But that’s not all. Tell them what happened then. Tell them about us.

All right, all right. Then my internal playlist became a bit more than just background music. I met them all. They came to visit, so to say. Ozzy Osbourne’s articulation is sometimes impossible to follow, but otherwise, they are pretty good guys. Quite relaxed. They hang out with me on nights and keep me company at work and when I’m jogging. They sleep with me, travel with me. It’s a bit difficult to explain, but I really do like music.

We have fun times together, we must admit.

I started to jog because the Survivor required me to do so. When I get sick Chrissie Hynde takes care of me. On a date, I’m a perfect gentleman, thanks to Marie and Per. In social situations, I act cool, because Sambora and Santana got my back. When I drive Michael Jackson is usually there with me, but deeper conversations I like to have with Sting or Bono.

You no longer need a woman who likes movies. And you are not lonely anymore.

I do not want anything anymore, that’s right. I know studies that show how music makes good to a person. Keeps brain activity virulent. Makes you stronger. Makes you happy. When people have music, they don’t need anything else.

But this doesn’t mean I’m gone crazy. It just means that I have started to live.